


A Good Old Bro-Times Feelings Jam

by thewindandraiin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Percy Jackson Fusion, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), First Kiss, John is oblivious, M/M, Sad Dirk Strider, but only for a little bit, what is new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewindandraiin/pseuds/thewindandraiin
Summary: When Dirk goes off to sulk in the woods of Camp Half Blood, John isn't far behind.----first ao3 work let's gooooo. rated t for language (it is homestuck after all)
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	A Good Old Bro-Times Feelings Jam

Dirk could not believe himself.

“Fuck,” he grunted, stepping over a particularly large bramble, ambling his way through the thick expanse of woods that made up part of Camp Half Blood. He was making one of his famous getaways again, but it was hardly his fault. He’d taken a step too far.

His estranged brother, Dave Strider, had appeared at camp two years after Dirk had. Theoretically, Dirk should be at least close by now. They were brothers, after all. They should be best bros at some point, according to every campy YA novel. Today, he and Dave had been practice dueling in the gymnasium. Right off the bat, Dirk could tell that Dave was nervous. The younger Strider had come into camp with skills of an experienced swordsman despite being 11 years old. He wouldn’t tell anyone where he’d gained his expertise, though, and didn’t use a sword unless he absolutely had to.

Dirk had offered to stop, but there was no way Dave would hurt his pride like that. Not in front of his best friends, John and Karkat. They began, Dirk had landed a hit, and when Dave’s hand reached to assess the wound, it came back bloody. “Fuck you, man,” he’d spat, venom clear in his shaking voice. It almost seemed like he was having a panic attack as Karkat ushered him away, an apology dying on Dirk’s lips. He’d gone too far.

So here he was, doing one of his classic moves- escape into the woods and sulk for hours until the gnawing in his stomach made him slink back into camp, face steely with self-loathing. He did it far too often, but at least it helped banish the sick feeling of regret in his stomach. The woods were his sanctuary, had been ever since he’d come here and sobbed for hours when his first boyfriend broke up with him. The nymphs knew to keep their distance.

He couldn’t remember how long he’d been walking, but he recognized this part of the woods well enough. That was one of the perks of being here so often. He placed a hand on the ridged bark of a nearby oak tree, giving a silent plea for the nymph to let him sit underneath her branches. He liked to be polite. A tall, willowy figure stepped out from behind the tree, hair the color of moss and skin a deep, oaky brown. She gave Dirk a concerned look, but covered his hand with hers and nodded, giving him her permission. Dirk smiled weakly, thanked her, and sunk down, curling up between the roots of the tree. The nymph melted back into her tree, leaves rustling to give the teen sanctuary.

Dirk let out a long sigh. Now that he wasn’t focusing on his journey, he could only think of what had happened earlier. He hadn’t seen that kind of anger from Dave in a long time. That belligerence was usually saved for the monsters that plagued half-blood life. The boy took off his shades, rubbing between his eyes in an attempt to keep himself from showing too much emotion, even with nobody around. He couldn’t live with himself knowing that his own brother considered him a monster.

“Oh, so thiiiiis is where you go to mope all day,” came a voice from above him in the branches.

Dirk damn near let out a scream that would have been anything but cool, but he managed to compact it into a startled cough. He scrambled to put his shades back on and looked up into the sunlight streaming in through the leaves. Perched on one of the branches, black hair haloed by the sun, was John Egbert, one of Dave’s best friends and a frequent tormentor of Dirk’s. His face seemed to be permanently stuck into that megawatt smile of his, and it annoyed Dirk to no end. Sometimes he wondered if Dave cultivated his friends to piss him off.

Oh, damn. John was at the duel earlier. Dirk slouched against the tree, allowing an eyebrow to lift above his shades. “What do you want, Egbert.”

John shrugged, slipping off of the tree and manipulating the breeze to help him float down leisurely. As a rare son of Zeus, he had learned to shape the wind the way he wanted and used that power 24/7. It was almost obnoxious. “Karkat took off with Dave to do some kind of bro-time feelings jam, and I wasn’t invited.” He touched down and promptly flopped down into a criss-cross applesauce on the ground. “So I figured we could have bro-time instead! What’s up?”

Dirk could not believe this boy. Fixing him with a glare that could probably be felt even through his shades, he deadpanned, “I want you to think of everything that has happened today and reevaluate that question.”

John’s face twisted into something that almost resembled a thinking face. Huh. Dirk hadn’t known John was capable of that. “Oh!” the son of Zeus exclaimed, face back into his regular smile. “Here’s one. Why do you think Dave hates you?”

Jesus fucking Christ.

“Egbert,” Dirk said slowly, reaching up to rub his forehead in anticipation of a headache that was sure to come after this conversation. “First of all. Who ever said Dave hated me? Secondly, why the fuck would I want to talk to you about it?”

“I dunno, because I’m here and I’m cool?” John shrugged. Dirk wanted to slap the smile off of his face, he really did, but John continued, “Do you think it’s because you’re gay?”

“I-” The older boy had to stop and look at him for a good few seconds, mouth open in something resembling disbelief. “You’re joking, right. Do one of your shitty punchlines now.”

The idiotic smile dropped from his face. “What? Nah, man, I’m serious.”

“You think Dave hates me… because I’m gay.”

“I think you might need to get your ears checked, dude.”

Dirk stared at him for a full thirty seconds before a laugh began to bubble out of his chest. Before he knew it, he was on the ground cackling, ignoring John’s nervous, confused giggles next to him. “Hooooly shit,” he could barely speak, “You think- oh god, this is too good.”

He got over his laughing fit after a minute, after his stomach began to hurt in earnest. He ran a hand over his face, grinning. For once, the roles were reversed: He was grinning, John was just flat out concerned. “Have you met your best friend? Seriously? He’s openly bi, man, why would he hate me?”

If John was a computer, his screen would definitely be showing an Error 404 message. He bit his lip, frowning, “No, dude, he’s like… straight? I thought??”

Dirk reached out and placed a hand on John’s shoulder, looking at him in earnest. “My dude. He has a literal boyfriend. That you hang out with all the time.”

John’s face flushed. “Nuh-uh, he and Karkat are just friends.” He shrugged off Dirk’s hand and admitted, “Sure, I’ve seen them kiss before, but Dave was super insistent that he said no homo after, so there’s no way they could be dating. There’s just no way.”

Two more minutes of Dirk howling in laughter later, they were back to sitting together under the oak tree. Dirk rubbed a tear out of his eye and said, “Sorry to break it to you man, but you’re kind of clinically oblivious.” When John didn’t reply immediately with a snarky remark, the older camper rolled his eyes and stood, offering a hand to help the other up. John looked at his hand, frowned, and propelled himself up with the breeze.

Dirk rolled his eyes. “C’mon,” he said, walking a few paces, then turned around to see if John was following. “Wanna see something cool?”

John bit his lip, hesitant, before sighing and shrugging, “As long as it isn’t a sex dungeon.” He walked after him, floating just a few inches off of the ground.

The sun was setting over the trees, amber sunlight filtering through the leaves and making the ground have an orangish, ethereal glow. After a few minutes of walking in no obvious direction, John complained, “Bro. Bro. Where are we even going.”

“Somewhere cool,” Dirk repeated, focusing on climbing over a fallen tree. “You’ll like it, probably.”

“Do you know how to get there.”

“Duh?”

“Aight. Hope you can find it from the air!”

“Bro, wh-” Without warning, Dirk felt John’s strong arms scoop him up and upward, the wind whistling in his ears. Was he screaming? God, probably. It was hard not to as he saw the ground below him rapidly getting farther and farther away. Dirk was vaguely aware of John’s laughter in his ears as they sped over the treetops, but he was too disgruntled to really focus. John’s arms felt like firebrands against Dirk’s exposed arms. If they were stationary, he probably would have shimmied out of his grip by now, but that option had been thrown out the window the second they went airborne.

When they were high above the trees, John stopped, laughing gleefully. He was clearly in his element, as carefree and relaxed as if he were lounging in his cabin. “You alright?”

If only he could turn around and give him a Dirk Strider-patented death glare, but John’s arms around his middle were the only thing holding him in the air. He felt the contact with almost painful clarity- he didn’t get a lot of human contact these days. He noted this as something to write down in his “things that happened to me that could be in an anime” list. “Egbert, you try being scooped up by someone you barely know and being held up in the air by somebody who could drop you at any second.”

“Aww, c’mon Dirk, I thought we were friends!”

Orange eyes rolled beneath his shades. “Whatever.” He looked down, and immediately looked up again, swallowing an indignified yelp. He wasn’t scared of heights on things like roller coasters, but this was entirely different and actually kind of terrifying. “You see any cliffs around?”

He could feel John moving behind him, as he was kind of pressed flush to his chest. Oh, fuck. They were closer than the cream and the cookie on an Oreo. He was comforted by the fact that John was too oblivious to notice the change in his heartbeat.

“Uhh… oh! Cliffs ahoy,” John chirped, tightening his grip on Dirk, who grunted in surprise (and immediately regretted it), an embarrassing flush coming to his cheeks. “Is that where we’re going, captain?”

“Yeah.” his voice was a squeak. They began speeding toward the cliff, Dirk internally regretting all of the choices that led him up to this moment. Not only was his life currently depending on some adorable- irresponsible- dork in a blue hoodie, but his hair was getting completely ruined as well. What a day.

Dirk was endlessly thankful to be back on the ground. His disappointment of losing John’s body heat was overwhelmingly trumped by his sudden appreciation for the hard, unmoving earth. He collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily, as John floated above him, clearly amused. A tasteful middle finger pointed at him only made him laugh. Fucker.

Once he got his bearings, Dirk stood and began walking towards a relatively new-looking pathway down the limestone cliff. John followed dutifully, choosing to bypass the stairs completely and float down. They came to a large doorway carved into the face of the cliff.

“Whoa…” John breathed. Dirk smiled at him before holding out his hands.

“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, Egbert,” he quipped, moving forwards to place his freckled hands on the intricate doorway. At his touch, the door glowed with a soft amber light, then swung open majestically. He turned back to John, smile almost embarrassed. “We Hephaestus kids don’t have insane wind powers, but we do have this.” He gestured inside with a grin. “Welcome to Bunker 9, man.”

John was so amazed that he let his feet actually touch the ground. His mouth stayed open in belief as they walked through the Bunker, gaping at all the incredible software and equipment out in the open like this. Dirk stopped at the end of the hallway, standing next to a tarp.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever shown this to,” Dirk said honestly, “So forgive me if he doesn’t play nice.” John barely had time to ask questions before he pulled the tarp away with a flourish. Under the tarp was… a pair of shades? One just like Dirk’s, in fact. Dirk picked them up gingerly and held them out to John. “Go on. Put it on.”

The son of Zeus eyed the shades suspiciously, but dutifully took his glasses off and put the shades on. Immediately, the shades buzzed to life, and red text flashed across the screen.

**Hello, Dirk. Oh, damn, this isn’t Dirk. I’ll have to check “have conversation with second person ever” off my to-do list.**

John had been gaping before, but his mouth fell open completely. He looked over at Dirk, who had perched himself upon one of the worktables. He was looking at him, inscrutable expression on his face. “What is this, Dirk?”

Dirk cracked a smile. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“Okay, then. What is this, person in shades?”

**Well, first off, I’m not a person. I’m an AI. My name is Hal. Nice to meet you. Dirk’s been making me for a couple years. He did some weird computer-y bullshit and created me out of an imprint of his own brain when he was 13. What a nerd, huh?**

John laughed, “Yeah, I guess. I’m John, by the way!” He could practically hear the glasses whirr in amusement.

**The famous John Egbert! A pleasure. Dirk’s told me a lot about you.**

“He has?”

**Yep. All “God, Hal, you would not believe what that asshole John said today” and “God his jokes are so bad” and “God how are his eyes allowed to be that blue is it a Zeus thing it must be a Zeus thing”.**

A light blush came to John’s face. “Oh. I… good to know?” That funny whirring came again. John realized that that must be his laughter.

**Dirk was right, you are adorable. Nice talkin to ya.**

When John slipped the glasses off of his face, his blue eyes were wide. “This- sorry, Hal- he’s you? Technically?”

Dirk shrugged, hopping off of the desk and taking the AI from him, hating himself for how he lingered as their fingers brushed. He swapped his current shades for Hal. John just barely caught the glint of his orange eyes before they were obscured again.

“Why do you cover up your eyes?” John asked, curiosity piqued. He floated himself up to where Dirk had been sitting on the table. “They’re cool as hell. I thought you were all about cool.” Dirk laughed, probably at something Hal had told him, before humming, “Well, sure. They’re cool. But growing up in a foster system, what makes you different makes you unattractive, so I keep them covered.”

“I think you’re attractive with them, for what it’s worth,” John said apologetically. It took him a minute to process what he had just said, blush flaring.

The son of Hephaestus looked at him, startled, before letting out an earnest laugh. “Alright, John “I am not a Homosexual” Egbert, sure.” He set Hal down again, but he didn’t put his other shades on, letting John see them in the light. John suddenly found that his breath was lost. Shit. That had never happened before.

“W-well, I am,” John said haughtily, bringing his knees up to his chest. “Not a homosexual, I mean. We’re like, complete opposites, or something.”

As Dirk raised an eyebrow, an amused smile on his face, John found himself reconsidering. He shrugged, “Well, alright, if you say so.” He turned around to fiddle with Hal’s programming a little.

“Well,” John said before thinking. He cursed internally, but he had gone too far at this point. “I guess I’ve never like. Done anything with a guy, so…” He swallowed, all to aware of the thudding of his heart in his chest. Calm down, Egbert! God!

“Hmmm, well, there’s a lack of evidence then,” Dirk hummed, putting his tiny screwdriver to the side. “Even I’ve kissed a girl before. Allow me a comical shiver, I didn’t enjoy it.” When he turned around again, he was smiling. When a guy like Dirk smiles, you can’t help but smile too.

John wrung his hands and mumbled, “I don’t know who I’d like uhh… kiss or whatever...” His voice trailed off into a nervous giggle. “Like there are a million guys at camp, but I only know one guy who’s like. Into guys.”

Dirk gave him a look.

“Okay fine, Dave too, I’m just an oblivious asshole who can’t pick up social cues when they’re served to me on a silver platter. Sue me, Strider.”

“I think I’d rather kiss you instead, but I can find a lawyer if you insist.” Dirk smiled wryly, but John had spent enough time observing Strider bullshit to know that he was nervous. It was almost endearing.

John was sure he was red all the way up to the tips of his ears- at least it felt like it. He crossed his legs and shrugged, “Well, I’m too broke to get an attorney-”

“Doesn’t your dad do law stuff-”

“That’s besides the point shut up- too broke- so I guess we haaave to do the first option.” John’s grin was back full force. Was he nervous? Sure! Of course! This was his first time doing anything with a guy, of course he was going to have some jitters! He was confident that he was right in having it be Dirk, though.

John’s smile was infectious, and spread to Dirk, who had moved to be right in front of the other boy. “Seriously though, last chance to back out.”

He snorted, “As if!” and brought their lips together.

Dirk had never believed in fireworks going off when you kissed someone. It was just a kiss, after all, swapping spit with somebody you’re mutually attracted with. But with John… somehow it was different. The feel of his soft, chapped (he made a mental note to gift him chapstick ASAP) lips sent sparks whizzing up and down his spine. He placed one hand on John’s cheek and another on his waist to steady himself. John had never been kissed like this before. He’d had girlfriends, sure, but that was nothing compared to the firmness of Dirk’s lips on his. He felt secure, almost safe even, as he placed his hands on Dirk’s hips automatically. He swore to god he almost whined when Dirk pulled away after a few seconds, orange eyes lidded.

The older boy cracked a smile. “So? Give me a yelp review. What do you think.”

“Oh my GOD, you are such an asshole,” John laughed, feeling a bit high. He pulled Dirk in a little bit, snickering at the surprise on his face, before leaning in and mumbling against his lips, “I think the evidence was inconclusive, I’m afraid we’re going to need to do some more tests.”

“For god’s sake, John, drop the scientist act and just kiss me already.”

And so he did.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!   
> insta: @thewindandraiin


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